A mother reflects on the days and weeks following her daughter’s tragic accident.
 

In heaven there’s a big book. In that book is listed everybody’s name and a date and time. Everybody’s in that book regardless of their age. And when your date and time comes, it’s your time to go. You just don’t know when that time’s going to be, so you have to be ready for it.

Suzy often shared that story with her mother, Karen. The 17-year-old Modern Woodmen member was good with words. She loved listening to the lyrics of songs and interpreting the meaning. She always won arguments with her brother, Brad. She wasn’t afraid to say exactly what was on her mind.

But no words describe the shock felt when Suzy’s date and time came on July 11, 2005, at 1:06 a.m. The emotional toll was devastating, but thanks to her mother’s readiness there was life insurance to help soften the financial blow.

Getting the news
It was about 2:30 a.m. when Karen got the call – the one every parent dreads. The caller shared no details. Just a calm, “Your daughter has been involved in a car accident. Could you please come to the hospital?”

As the single mom drove through the streets of her Missouri hometown, she was ready to be angry at her daughter. “I thought at that point that she had been driving and had just not been paying attention,” she remembers. “Those were my first thoughts. OK, what has she done? Broken an arm? Broken a leg?”

But by that time Suzy had already passed away.

“It’s just like you see on TV,” says Karen. “They put me in the waiting room and about four or five doctors and nurses came in together.” There had been a bad accident. Suzy, the passenger, wasn’t wearing her seatbelt. “They told me Suzy had no pulse when they got her to the hospital.”

Saying goodbye
The first call Karen made was to South Dakota, to share the news with her parents and her son, Brad. Karen and Suzy had moved to Missouri from South Dakota almost a year before that. Brad stayed back to live with his grandparents after he graduated from high school.

After that call, the news spread quickly. “I heard Brad continually got phone calls from people asking if it was true,” says Karen. She received calls too – on Suzy’s cell phone. “Some people still call Suzy’s cell occasionally just to hear her voice. I finally had to turn it off.”

When it came time to plan the funeral, Karen wasn’t sure what to do. Suzy lived in South Dakota most of her life, but had also made many friends in Missouri. Ultimately, she decided to have services in both parts of the country. Over 500 people attended. Suzy made a big impact in a short time.

Relieving stress
The cost of the two funeral services also made a big impact. Luckily, Karen knew she didn’t have to worry about how to pay those bills. Suzy had been covered by life insurance since she was 4.

“It took a lot of stress off. I knew I could get things paid for without having to wait. Funeral costs, the headstone, the grave site – you just don’t realize the expense of flowers and all the other things. It’s kind of like sticker shock,” she says.

“As a single parent, money is tight. You don’t want to have to scrimp on what you do for your kids,” she says. According to Karen, that’s how having life insurance helps. “You want to be able to give the person who has passed away – you want to give them something.”

Karen was also glad she could depend on her Modern Woodmen representative, Bob Weisbeck. “He offered his condolences and was shocked just like everyone else. Then he just asked me what he could do,” she says.

What he did was help alleviate some of Karen’s stress. “He filled out all the paperwork and got everything ready,” she recalls. “I didn’t have to track down forms or figure out what to do. That was one less thing I had to worry about.”

Moving on
Karen is now taking life one day at a time. “We’re doing OK,” she says. “I think it’s brought my family closer together.”

She worries about her son, but is thankful he feels comfortable talking to friends who were also close to Suzy. Karen talks a lot now too – to family, to friends and to her two cats who keep her company.

She also talks to other parents about life insurance for kids. “I know it’s not something parents want to think about, but it’s so important,” she says.

That call – the one Karen received at 2:30 in the morning – is every parent’s worst nightmare. Karen knows firsthand life insurance can’t make the nightmare go away. But it does make the nightmare easier to bear.